wilma's tales

2008: Emerging into the world From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (667 days old)

so this is the first week i actually feel i am not constantly attached to Moses, Delia or the washing..and that i can begin to contemplate re-occupying other parts of my identity..the artist for examp… more

The Birth Blessing: Pomegranates and Rosewater From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (765 days old)

It's autumn now...and i am almost fully pregnant...we planted a pomegranate tree in the front garden, it was like planting my mother as i have such strong associations with her and that fruit. Her s… more

The Sound of a Wave From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (922 days old)

We spent Saturday on Camber Sands. It's a childhood summer haunt of mine, but Leo and Delia's first visit. It was sunny and blissful, being on a vast expanse of sand. dunes behind us, sea far ahead in… more

A whole world From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (922 days old)

When mum died, a whole world died with her. Last week, I visited what remains of part of her world - her friends - and I took Delia to meet some of her dearest Iranian friends at Jila's house. Jila k… more

Nowruz mobarak! From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (962 days old)

Dear Mama, It was your birthday yesterday and today is the eve of Nowruz (Persian New Year), your absolute favourite time of year. I have made a Haft Seen in the corner of the front room, using your… more

Two years on today..(letter to my Mother) From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1046 days old)

Boxing Day-second anniversary of your death. We did a latihan (spiritual exercise we do in subud) for you...I sang out the sorrow of a thousand deaths, it was deep and almost unbearably, sublimely sad… more

Snow falling in an empty house From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1062 days old)

(From journal, 22.3.005) Dear Delia, today we drove (You, I, your dad, our friend Brianne who has come to be with us) to Papa Jaaan (my mothers) house for the first time since she died. It was stra… more

The smell of saffron. From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1106 days old)

Have been away in switzerland and france, travelling on trains with leo and delia. It was quite a journey, inside and out. On returning home, from sunny southern france to the heavy rain of lewes, we … more

Dreams all around us - saying goodbye From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1154 days old)

(from journal 19.2.2006) I dreamt about mum again (what a time..). Me, simon, fariba, farid and Reg (her boyfriend who survived) and Mum were all together in Thailand. I was out there teaching an ar… more

Dreams all around us - saying goodbye From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1154 days old)

(from journal 19.2.2006) I dreamt about mum again (what a time..). Me, simon, fariba, farid and Reg (her boyfriend who survived) and Mum were all together in Thailand. I was out there teaching an ar… more

Dreams all around us -continued From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1154 days old)

(from journal 8.2.2005) I dreamt of my mum- she was cooking in the next room and i came in, in case she disappeared.She was in pink. I told her 'i love you..do you love me?' and hugged her. She was d… more

Dreams all around us From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1154 days old)

(from journal 30.1.2005) Your uncle Simon dreamt last week that Papar Jaan (my mum, your grandma) came to him to ask him what had happened on her death - what was the story? He told her , and she was… more

The moment of death From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1154 days old)

'At the moment of death, abandon all thoughts of attachment or aversion' - Buddha ..maybe this why mum left us without us being present? … more

Grief From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1166 days old)

Now the rage has died down, and after my last counselling session and latihan, I am finding a way to be with the deep, deep sadness that has risen up over the death of my mother, and sits as a blue sa… more

In the eye of the storm From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1172 days old)

The Mother to Mother project, now that it is online and i am simply maintaining the garden rather than creating it, has given me a prickly gift: of realising that what I went through 21 months ago whe… more

Great Nanny/memorial preparations From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1180 days old)

(26th January 2005) Dear Delia, We are at 100 Springfield rd, Southborough, Tunbridge Wells, staying with your great nanny (my dad's mum) in the house where, (unbeknown to her when she moved in) her… more

Missing/present From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1182 days old)

(Jan 21st, 2004) Delia, your Papar jan, a pisces whose wish was to be cremated and have her ashes thrown into the sea near Eastbourne when she died, is still missing, presumed dead. She came to … more

When I miss Mum.. From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1185 days old)

(jan 16th, 2005) When I miss mum, i will make 'katchi', which she made for me in the early mornings before, during and after your birth in the kitchen at Maygrove rd. It's persian and made of melted … more

My mother's death:dreams and signs From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1185 days old)

(Jan 10th 2005) Have been finding it hard to find space to write about what has been happening.But i must record this-last night Mum was in my dream.A younger version of herself with jet black hair,… more

Your grandmother From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1185 days old)

(Jan 4th 2005) Delia, Your beloved granmother, Papar Jan, was swept away by the by the great tsunami in south east asia > phuket island on 26th december 2004, last week. I am numb. What a huge loss… more

Your name... From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1187 days old)

Delia Shadi Azadeh Sedgley We knew it had to start with D-E-L. Del means ;heart; in farsi. The shortlist was Delilah, Delara (mums favourite), Delphi, Della,Delphine. In the end, it was clear your na… more

You were born... From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1187 days old)

You were born from the very depths of my being, amidst howls and roars of extraordinary and sublime pain..only you,my darling daughter, were worth the torture my body endured, a truly extreme rite of … more

WOW From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1199 days old)

December 5th Dear Delia, here is the poem you father and I picked our from hafiz at random, just after we conceived you on Feb 28th, 2004: WOW Where does the real poetry come from? From the… more

Mother to Mother: the garden growing, week1 From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1200 days old)

July 25th-Lewes, sweltering heat. its been so moving getting these 'plants' in the in-box, (and more than i had thought too - 50 in 6 days) and sometimes personal messages coming afterwards. Some peo… more

My mother’s death : Boxing Day 2004 From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1208 days old)

Will also write from my journals in this space about that extraordinary event and what came after.… more

My daughter’s birth : Keri's account From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1208 days old)

Selected extracts from my journal for my daughter- Delia Shadi Azadeh Sedgley -born December 2nd 2004. Keri Lassalle , your first godmother, wrote this account as we all sat together in the f… more

All about my mother: parvin azadeh rieu From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1208 days old)

My cousin kooshah made a memorial film which we watched on the 1 year anniversary of her death on Boxing Day 2005 after drinking champagne at Birling Gap (where we scattered her). It is on,one at… more

Persian Gardens: in dreams and reunions From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1208 days old)

Week 6 notes: Dream gardens Re gardens..i recalled that in fact there have been some gardens in my life that really weave me and my mother together. When I was very young I used this have a recurri… more

The Persian Garden: seed idea From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1208 days old)

Week 4 notes: The walled garden, a safe closed place for reflection and nurturing. Each woman planting qualities through selecting flowers//or They could come from the weaves /colours Area of th… more

Mother to Mother Weaving -Session 3 From alinah in Alinah Azadeh:Mother to Mother (1208 days old)

I hardly wrote notes for this because I was either weaving . ‘holding the space’ more as it was a more deeply emotional one, or holding C’s beautiful baby mei lin so she could take photos! But i wi… more